I have to start again!

I know I need to get my game up and continue to put my thoughts to words to paper/computer. Blogging seems to be easier for me because I always have a computer with me. I let someone close to me draw me away from path of rediscovering me but that won't happen again. I can't...I can't afford to take my focus on rediscovering who I am or waiting for someone to love me like I WANT to be loved. I rather for them to jump over a fence to love me not be on the fence about loving me!!!!!